Kanye & Kim K or Ali & Fatima

Kim K and Kanye are one of the most iconic couples of this generation, with girls looking up to them as their 'Relationship Goals,' striving in every way to have what they have: the looks, the money, the fame, and most importantly, the love.

Hate to break it to you all, but our 'Relationship goals' broke up...

Nowadays, marriage is a trend, and I know we all want to get married and have kids, living out our BookTok romance dreams. But the genre is fiction for a reason.

I can guarantee that you know at least two people who got married and divorced within the year, and it's no one's fault except our own. We place these unrealistic expectations on marriage and what it entails. We want a Cartier bracelet while still having no financial problems; we want all the romance without the sacrifice.

What we don't realize is that it's not fairies and rainbows. Marriage is hard work; it requires patience, care, compromise, and love for Allah (swt) and each other. They say the first year of marriage is the hardest, and although I've never experienced it, it doesn't take a genius to figure out why. Two people living separate lives are suddenly required to merge into one, sacrificing parts of their lives to suit the needs of the other.

Nowadays, if our husband tells us that he's uncomfortable with us going to a mixed gym, we want a divorce because he is 'too controlling.' Or if we ask our husband to spend a Friday night with us, we are too needy... and you guessed it, he wants a divorce. A good idea is to know your role and rights as a Muslim female, as well as his roles and rights, so then we know what to look for in a spouse and how to fulfil our duties for the sake of Allah (swt).

Islamic history gives us many iconic relationships to look up to, from Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and Sayedah Khadijah to Imam Ali and Sayedah Fatima. So why do we still look at Kim K and Kanye to give us our ideal relationship?

They (a.s.) strived toward Allah (swt) in unison, aiding and supporting each other no matter what befell them. Sayedah Khadijah gave all her wealth to the prophet for the sake of building Islam, even though she didn't have to. Sayedah Fatima stood by her husband even when the whole city was against him.

There's a saying that says if you're looking for a spouse, give them a 1 if he has strong faith and add a 0 to every other favoured characteristic. Without strong faith, all they have is a bunch of zeros.

I pray that we all find someone with whom we can strive towards the path of Allah (swt) and that we have the patience to overcome every hurdle that life throws our way with our spouse for the sake of Allah (swt).

Yours Truly

That Muslim Girl

Disclaimer: This is in no way aimed at those individuals struggling with serious issues such as domestic violence or those who are under the Islamic rights to divorce. This is just a reminder that we, as female Muslims, need to not allow unrealistic societal expectations of what marriage should look like.